Police Search For Evil Criminals Who Left BURNOUT MARKS On a Pride Mural

Brittany M. Hughes | May 29, 2024
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Police in St. Petersburg, Florida are expending time, energy, and taxpayer dollars searching for the culprit who left burnout marks on a rainbow “Pride” mural painted on the asphalt of a busy road.

You know, where the cars live. Cars that are sometimes apt to leave tire marks.

According to the police, this particular mural has been vandalized twice in recent weeks by at least two vehicles, which the city finds problematic given the upcoming mass force-feed that is "Pride month." 

“Over the last week, two different vehicles have left tire marks damaging the Progressive Pride street mural at the 2500 Central Avenue roundabout,” a police statement reads. “The first occurred on May 17th at 9:36 a.m. when a truck accelerated through the mural. The second incident happened on May 22nd at 2:41 a.m. involving a blue two-door vehicle doing doughnuts on the mural.”

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Dear lord, spare us from such brazen criminals.

If that weren’t stupid enough, police estimate it’s going to cost taxpayers more than a grand to slap another layer of bedazzled paint on the road - which is a bit odd, given that a gallon of paint from Lowe’s costs about $40.

“It’s going to cost the city of St. Petersburg $1,100 to restore. The city aims to have the mural repainted in time for pride month festivities,” the police said.

Thank the Lord above that there are no robberies, murders, or rapes to be solved.