The San Diego Zoo is celebrating a pair of “gay” flamingos having their first baby, in a bizarre tale that’s somehow supposed to prove to the rest of us that nature is, in fact, as “diverse” as the alphabet mafia wants it to be. (It's not, though.)
“A pair of male flamingos, a same-sex couple, at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park have successfully welcomed a baby chick together,” KTLA joyously reported over the weekend.
They didn’t, of course. They’re both males, which means they can’t reproduce together. Because you know, they’re males. Amazing how many times basic facts need to be re-stated in a society that’s currently got objects exploring deep space.
Here’s what really happened. According to the Wildlife Alliance, the two male flamingos began sitting on a nest earlier this year. Instead of just letting that be that, “specialists” at the zoo decided to give them a fake egg to role-play with. So the flamingos started sitting on it.
Clearly delighted at having two supposedly queer flamingos wanting to play mommy to a plastic ball, the zoo then took a real egg from the female flamingo who’d laid it and swapped it out for the fake one. The real egg - which biologically belonged to neither “gay” flamingo - then hatched.
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KTLA excitedly explains that “the two dads have been caring for the baby chick, whose sex is not yet known.”
Good lord, they’ve even made the baby flamingo 'non-binary.'
So, to sum up here, we have two male flamingos who did not reproduce, but who managed to sit on an egg stolen from a female flamingo long enough for it to hatch - a function I’m guessing could’ve just as easily been accomplished by a throw pillow and a hot water bottle, but sure, #progress.
Congratulations to the happy couple. Who are still flamingos, and who still didn't make a baby.
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