Ho Ho No! Netflix Tween 'Toon Grosses Out with Full-Frontal of Naked Santa

Karen Townsend | November 18, 2021
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The fifth season of Netflix’s Big Mouth began streaming on November 5 with ten new episodes. This season is the same as the others, filled with non-stop masturbation scenes, crude sex puns, and tween angst. Holiday episodes for Thanksgiving and Christmas were included with the Christmas episode being particularly disgusting with a full-frontal shot of Santa’s naked penis.

The special “A Very Big Mouth Christmas” episode begins with "Hormone Monster" Maury saying that the show will deliver what no other Christmas special will – the viewers will see "Santa’s dick." And, true to his word, that is what happens. In one scene, two elves (400-year-old virgins) walk in on Santa and Mrs. Claus having sex. When Santa realizes the elves are there, he turns to face them and his naked penis is exposed. Lovely.

In Episode one, titled “No Nut November” the boys are instructed in how to come to climax without ejaculating, called "edging," by Maury. They participate in the month-long challenge of not masturbating but Andrew (voice of John Mulaney) loses the bet, which is a granola bar. Andrew, along with Nick (voice of Nick Kroll) and Jessi (voice of Jessi Klein), is sitting on a couch at Nick’s house watching a movie. Andrew looks at a family picture and ends up masturbating to Nick’s bikini-clad sister’s picture. He ejaculates on himself and the couch in front of everyone. As if seeing Andrew hump a couch isn’t enough, the episode ends with a montage showing various young characters masturbating at bedtime.

In Episode two, “The Shame Lizard Rises”, there is plenty of body-shaming during co-ed swim class. During class, Lola (voice of Nick Kroll) announces that Jay (voice of Jason Mantzoukas) is uncircumcised. He’s the only one so the others are fascinated by this information. Matthew (voice of Andrew Rannells) is a gay character and he is very interested in seeing Jay’s erect penis. Jay ends up showing him and Matthew is aroused. Jay isn’t gay but, of course, since this is Netflix, Jay ends up choosing Matthew over his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lola by the end of the series.

Two new "Love Bug" imaginary characters show up, one for Jessi and one for Nick. They counsel the two about the subject of love. We think that Jessi and Nick will become more than just friends, as Nick confesses to Jessi that he loves her, with the encouragement of his Love Bug, but there is a conflict. Jessi feels love for her friend Ali (voice of Ali Wong), but when her Hormone Monstress Connie talks about lesbian sex, Jessi stops her and says she likes boys. For once, the platonic love between same sex best friends isn't further confused and contorted into the LGBTQIA box.

This show has been renewed for another season, I’m sorry to say. It is a real slog to binge-watch all the episodes. The show is done by middle-aged adults pretending to be tweens. Hard to believe they get paid for this gross junk. There must be an audience that considers non-stop masturbation scenes, coarse sex puns, and sexualizing tweens entertaining. Netflix has certainly cornered the pedo market.

Related: More Netflix Grooming: Woke ‘Baby-Sitters Club’ Has Gay Middle Schoolers

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