Madonna’s mad about her face again.
Not about the fact that she looks like an overinflated dollar-store balloon in July because apparently, she did that on purpose. No, she’s mad because people on the interwebs have spent the week calling her out for being a 64-year-old woman who’d rather pump her face full of botox and slather it in seven layers of makeup spackle under slicked-back hair to resemble a gothic circus clown than gracefully embrace her years and age like a normal person.
In a petulant rebuttal to her critics Wednesday, the “Like a Virgin” pop singer is now blaming “ageism and misogyny” for why so many - including her fans - said she looked nearly unrecognizable co-hosting this year’s Grammy awards dressed as a cross between Morticia Addams and the serial killer from "Saw."
"Instead of focusing on what I said in my speech which was about giving thanks for the fearlessness of artists like Sam and Kim - Many people chose to only talk about Close-up photos of me Taken with a long lens camera By a press photographer that Would distort anyone's face!!" Madonna wrote on Twitter (random caps hers, not mine). "Once again I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny That permeates the world we live in.”
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First off, no one is focusing on her hailing the bravery of Sam Smith, a man who sometimes crossdresses as a woman, and Kim Petras, another man who actually thinks he is a woman, because Madonna's speech was immediately followed up by a Satanic ritual service featuring Smith dressed like a demonic pimp surrounded by gyrating, mostly-naked women, while a mental ill man in a leotard writhed around in a cage. I watched about 15 seconds of it, and trust me - no one wanted to give thanks for that.
Secondly, the reason no one can stop talking about Madonna’s face isn’t because of ageism, or the fact that she’s a woman (because hey, at least she actually is one). It’s because it took someone telling me the next day that this was actually Madonna for me to even realize it:|
Honey, we get that you’re a material girl, but you’re also 64. Not 24. As a matter of fact, when you try to look 24, you look 84.
And while it’s a free country and you’re well within your rights to get all the lip fillers and eye lifts you can afford, which seems to be quite a few, you can’t blame people for saying something when they can’t even recognize you thanks to all the silicone you’ve got shoved up your cheekbones and the eyebrows you’ve apparently decided to shave off and pencil back on like it’s 1997 and you’re on your way to Claire’s to get your second ear piercing.
You’re 64. And if there’s any ageism going on here, it’s you believing that’s not OK.