New Solution To Holiday Singleness: Marry Yourself

Tierin-Rose Mandelburg | November 14, 2022
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The BBC released a short video on November 8 titled “Why marrying yourself is the start of a great love story.” BBC highlighted women from Bilbao, Spain who proclaimed their “self-love” and marriage to themselves. 

Self-marrying, “sologamia,” is supposedly a growing trend in places like the US, Japan, Italy, India, the U.K. and Spain.

The featured woman in the BBC video, May, is from Spain and has supposedly helped at least 70 women marry themselves since 2011. In the video her title was “Sologamist Matchmaker.”

The goal apparently is for women to learn to love and respect themselves. Supposedly men are raised to love themselves but for women, as Neus Tur Bujosa, a political scientist in gender studies, put it, “women, instead, we don’t see the need to love ourselves.” 

Other women claimed that loving themselves first gives them the chance to delegate and dictate who deserves their love and who doesn't. 

Seem like some pretty selfless women ...

The narrator explained that marrying yourself can also help combat the growing divorce rate, especially in Spain. As testament, one woman felt that she stopped loving herself when she got married and had children so she married herself in addition. So now she’s married to her husband and herself. 

“Thanks to having married myself, I now have a healthier relationship with myself, my children, my husband, even with myself,” she said.


Why’d she get married in the first place if she didn't want to share a life/responsibilities with her husband? 

Related: Bette Midler’s Mad Twitter: The Right Cares More about Gas Prices than Women?

The video also indicated the negatives of women being married to men. 

In most cases, traditional marriage has been a prison for women. Firstly, because we’ve been told that it should be our main goal in life. And once married, statistics prove that the main bulk of domestic work and the care of children, old and sick people inside the family, is still carried out mainly by women.

The video then proceeded to show a chart of how many hours of domestic chores women do compared to men. 

If this is the big issue, won't the women who marry themselves still have to do chores? 

Nonetheless, the video pointed out that Sologamy isn’t a solution to all issues but it is something that can help women appreciate themselves and commit to loving themselves first. 

One lady claimed that Sologamy is just an “excuse for a party” and the gender studies gal said “I believe it’s rather a symptom of the heteropatriarchal society we live in and the romantic love, family-based and binary-couple model that we still regard as normal in our society.”

Blah, blah, blah ...

It’s just odd that these ladies think they should marry themselves. If they want to be alone and beat their own drum then why wouldn't they  just not get married in the first place?

This world never ceases to shock me. 

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