If I could snap my fingers and erase anyone from existence, it’d be congressmen who think hard-earned taxpayer cash is Monopoly money to be thrown at pet projects to help their re-election campaigns.
Unfortunately for those looking for a quick solution to government spending, the Thanos-snap is a work of fiction in the Marvel franchise - but that isn’t stopping legislators from dumping tens of thousands of our dollars into studying it, anyway. Because what’s money to those who have plenty of it?
In his annual Festivus Report of Grievances released Friday, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul detailed the nearly half a trillion dollars - $482 billion, to be exact - the U.S. government showered on ridiculously stupid crap in 2022, even as Americans struggled under the weight of 40-year-high inflation and $5-a-gallon gas and the nation headed toward a deepening recession while adding to its $31 trillion pile of debt.
Related: The Brittany Hughes Show: Here’s the Most Insane Pork Stuffed In Congress’ Spending Bill
In his lengthy report, Paul noted the National Science Foundation spent $118,000 to study whether Thanos, the fictitious villain from the 2018 installment of Marvel’s Avengers film series, could actually snap his fingers while wearing an Infinity Glove containing five magical rocks and immediately annihilate half of all the living creatures in the universe.
The verdict? Probably not. But it took them over a hundred thousand bucks to figure that out, all while the American peasants paying for it were trying to afford eggs and gas.
Paul noted the government also spent $1.7 billion on maintaining empty federal buildings, $200,000 on Starbucks espresso machines for the Department of Defense, $2.3 million injecting beagle puppies with cocaine (where’s the lawsuit on that one?), $689,000 on studying romance between parrots, and another $187,000 to determine whether the relationship between kids and their pets is a good thing.
Here's one for you: it takes exactly $0 and not a single study to determine the government is an absolutely useless consortium of shameless thieves who don't care one single whit about your life, the U.S. Constitution, or basic decency.
There. Gave you that one for free.