What the Dinglehopper? Disney Alters 'Little Mermaid' Lyrics To Include Consent

Brittany M. Hughes | April 4, 2023
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Sha la la la la la my oh my, has Disney found a brand new way to be stupid. Again.

In its latest live-action iteration of The Little Mermaid, the film company is updating the lyrics to two classic songs to include messages about "consent." Because apparently, the original pieces in the cartoon version were just a little too rapey.

"Kiss the Girl," the original 1989 film's ballad in which Ariel's crab friend Sebastian encourages Prince Eric to kiss the princess while taking a boat ride out on a lake, will be reformulated to make sure it's obvious that Ariel - who can't talk, her voice having been stolen by a sea witch - gives informed consent before being smooched.

Alan Menken, the original movie's composer, said he hopes the updated words will ease "sensitive" people's concerns about sexual assault in the origin song.

There are some lyric changes in 'Kiss the Girl' because people have gotten very sensitive about the idea that [Prince Eric] would, in any way, force himself on [Ariel]," Menken said in an interview with Vanity Fair.

Meaning no unwitting parent will have to worry about their 7-year-old being triggered by the scene in which a handsome prince kisses a princess...in a movie about a half-woman, half-fish whose best friend is a flounder and whose voice gets nicked by an evil octopus-woman, all so she can chase after a dude she's never even met.

I mean, we wouldn't want kids to get any unrealistic ideas, here. 

Related: Margaret Mitchell's 'Gone With the Wind' Slapped With 'Trigger Warning' By Publisher

Sebastian's orchestral number isn't the only one getting a modern facelift in the upcoming remake. The song, "Poor Unfortunate Souls," in which the villain Ursula tries to convince the mermaid princess to give up her voice in exchange for legs, is also being softened to omit references to men preferring women who keep their mouths shut. 

"We have some revisions in 'Poor Unfortunate Souls' regarding lines that might make young girls somehow feel that they shouldn't speak out of turn, even though Ursula is clearly manipulating Ariel to give up her voice," Menken said, likely referencing a few lines in the original song in which Ursula sings, "Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation / True gentlemen avoid it when they can / But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who’s withdrawn / It’s she who holds her tongue who gets the man."

In other words, we're revamping lyrics that had a clear and relevant point to the song to appease butthurt morons who can't logic their way through a children's cartoon. Got it.

The Little Mermaid isn't the first Disney remake to include a head nod to the progressive social justice lynch mob. The 2021 remake of Aladdin features a strikingly more feminist Princess Jasmine, who sings a brand new (and entirely unnecessary) women-power ballad about not keeping quiet in the face of oppressive men who treat her like property.

The new woman-friendly, social-justice-approved movie hits theaters on May 26. And for those seeking to relive their childhood memories through the remakes of these classic films, it looks like appeasing "sensitive" idiots will just have to be part of your world.