Cancer Fund Suggests Doctors Replace 'Vagina' With Trans-Inclusive 'Bonus Hole'

Brittany M. Hughes | June 29, 2023
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A U.K.-based cancer fund now recommending doctors replace the word “vagina” with the term “bonus hole” to keep from offending trans persons who have a vagina but don’t identify as women.

And no, this is a real story - about all-too-real insanity.

Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, in partnership with the LGBT Foundation in Manchester, issued a glossary of potentially offensive terms and phrases and some “trans-inclusive” words with which to replace them. Included on the list is the phrase “bonus hole,” defined as “[a]n alternative word for the vagina.”

Which, ironically, only serves to point out that a vagina by any other name is still…well, a vagina.

But perhaps the patient in question has a vagina but wishes they didn’t. In that case, doctors and medical staff should ask the person whether they’d prefer to use the word “vagina” or the genderless term “bonus hole” when getting checked for cervical cancer, a disease that affects the cervix, which only biological women have. Perhaps we should call it the “potentially tumor-riddled bonus organ.”

Related: Outraged 'Transwoman' Complains About Not Being Able to Find a Gynecologist

The list came out in 2020, but has recently surfaced on social media thanks to gender-bending morons and, thankfully, the slew of people who're getting sick of them. And lest you assume adhering to the glossary gets you out of the woods when it comes to stepping on fragile toes, think again. While the list can help you navigate mentally breakable people who can’t abide their own anatomy, the group points out that it’s not meant to cover every term that risks offending someone.

“This glossary explains some of the words we use in our information or that you might hear used by a patient. This is not a definitive list and we recognise that some people may prefer different words. It is still necessary to check the words or phrases your patient would prefer,” the fund recommends.

And we’re to go along with this butchering of basic language all so “birthing people” can feel comfortable getting their bonus hole checked for signs of disease in the organs they otherwise like to pretend they don’t have. At this point, it’s a wonder any of us can speak at all.

But while we're suggesting alternatives for stuff, might I suggest, "Whackjob: a person who thinks they can change their gender, and anyone who supports that obvious and science-denying delusion." 

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